What do you do when you feel that you are called by God to be a pastor yet you don't want to do that? He makes you go to school and even after you turn from Him for a few years He still drags you back and gives you the same call. I know now that I am even less worthy and capable of such a duty than I was before but it still seems to be there, even when I hear Mark Driscoll's discription of what "ministry" is like, I still feel like that is what He wants, and I still don't want to do it. When I listen to pastors I think, I just plain don't know all that stuff, and I am not that good at comunicating anything. These guys are great, I listen to them daily and am dumbfounded. I read there books and think, "no way". But I can't not do what God tells me to do right? Steve Brown today was saying once again how much of a sinner he is and I feel the same way, only I know I am way more evil than Steve Brown. At one time I finally accepted the call and went to work to get prepared. I started theological school, I was doing youth ministry, I was teaching, I was learning, I even got to preach at my church twice when the pastor was on vacation, I was in tune with God. What was I thinking? I didn't know what I was doing, and now i'm just worse than that. So, what to do, I feel as though I could enter any profession but never be satisfied or fullfilled, until I am doing what God wants. Just a thought.....