Strange Mood

I am in a Strange mood latelly, I am torn constantly between bitterness and seeking More of God since I know I need too, I also don't seem to be able to sustain anything with Him lately. It used to be so easy. Everything is so hard now, waking up in the morning, getting up off the couch, going outside, working out. I wan't to do things, I just don't seem capable when it comes time. I let everyday waste by. All of my energy and focus ends up going to a job I hate and leaves me nothing for everything else. I want my old life back, I just don't think that is possible. Maybe even a new life that resembles my old life but only slightly different, like this time I can have beer.....